but where do we take our thoughts when we know we're meant for more than this?

"i thought, some unraveling of my heart would be nice."

with the sweeping tow pulling me along i've decided that these love songs are not the best to hear when i can't unravel another being just to see what it inside (anymore, at least) because my vows are solid, stoic, steady, stupid, silver. i've got cat scratches up and down my chest, i read the poetry of a faded friend and regret it already, but it is better than feeling listless and tone-deaf or colorless and the bills are racking up but i put them in the drawer and expect eric clapton to send them to the office with his checks like a true rockstar fried or brother in arms, the dire straits told me they'd handle my frowns in my dreams and i'm taking those words to the grave. instead, for now, i will write you a stupid song on this guitar i'm holding too tight because i like the comfort it keeps bringing to me and it's not like i can unload a drum set in my room and start banging away on cymbals of sheet metal - but fifteen minutes of the purity of sound, wheels churning and reverb feedback a man with a guitar by his side and strings being nearly ripped off with fingers scraping frets and a melancholy hum of horns and a thump thumming of bass with the consistent groove of growing beat on the drums and the intensity with screams of girls and guys all together as this soul is bared in front of us (later to be seen with his head in his hands, body half naked in a private pool as the waves of a hurricane bite my ankles and i feel wrong for playing spy vs. spy but all girls need their start somewhere) and i stand still as the pre-storm forms in my own head but elation is electric in neon pink fingernails and the drunk couple below me can keep me calm and solid and allow me a time to transfer back when this all was playing out true in front of me as i drive back in dusty sunlight and three cars - right left and behind - are honking and hollering HEY GIRL, HEY HEY HEY GIRL!!! and i'm laughing or shouting or singing on key the lyrics that i still haven't found and i think he's still looking for.

"i noticed the other day that you don't breathe when you speak, and you don't do anything but leave me with run-on sentences. what type of friend does that?"

a good one.